Monday Morning Motivational Message - The Illusion Of Control

What can you control in your life?

Maybe a better question is, what do you try to control in your life? 

Anne Wilson Schaef said, "Trying to control our lives puts us in a position of failure before we start."

When I was coaching high school basketball I would remind my players that the only things they had any control over while playing the game were their attitude and their effort. Everything else was outside their control.

I wanted them to understand that no matter how hard they tried or wanted something to occur, they had very little control over the outcome, especially when other people were involved.

They had no control over a referee making a bad call that forced them to spend most of the game on the bench. They had no control over having one of those games where there seemed to be a lid on the basket and none of their shots were going in. They had no control over a teammate missing them for a wide-open layup.

The players needed to learn that by relinquishing control of the uncontrollable, they had a much better mindset to adapt to the positive and negative aspects of the game as they unfolded.

The Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius said, "The nearer a person comes to a calm mind, the closer they are to true strength."

No matter how hard you want a square peg to fit in a round hole, it simply isn't going to happen...and the harder you try to control it, the more frustrated you become.   

"Radical acceptance," is a psychological term that refers to the practice of accepting the difficult parts of life. Once you come to terms with what you can't control, you can focus on the things that are within your control.

By accepting the uncontrollable events and situations in your life, you empower yourself to make meaningful changes on focus on the things you have control over.

Leave me a comment about your thoughts on the importance of letting go of the things that are uncontrollable in your life.