When was the last time you were in pain?

I'm not talking about cutting yourself shaving, getting a sliver in your finger, or stubbing your toe on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

I mean the deep, penetrating anguish of the ache in your soul, the distraught grief in your mind, or the burning, stinging, and throbbing torment after major surgery.

If we live long enough, we will eventually experience some form of pain. As author Haruki Murakami says, "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."

Pain is a feeling we constantly seek to avoid because it causes stress in our lives. But what if we looked at pain from another direction? What if instead of averting pain, we embraced it and used it to make us stronger and more resilient?

While nobody likes to be in pain, according to an article in psychology-spot.com titled, 3 Benefits of Pain: The Hidden Power of Emotional and Physical Scars, pain can alert and protect us.

Here are three ways we can benefit from emotional or physical pain:

1. Strengthen Relationships That Are Valuable - Because pain often leaves us needy and vulnerable, it can help us develop relationships and let us know who we can count on in difficult times. It will also allow us to be more compassionate, empathetic, and kinder when others are in pain.

2. You Learn To Put Things In Perspective -  One of pain's "positive" gifts is that it clarifies what is important in our lives. Grief has a way of putting life into proper perspective. When things are going well, we tend to emphasize and worry about the small, insignificant "pains" in our lives. In difficult times, there is a focus on what is important.   

3. It Makes Us More Confident and Resilient - Pain can be an effective teacher, if understood and used correctly. As the pain increases and things get more complex, one of two things will happen: you will fold, or become more resilient. You can use pain to learn that you are much more powerful and durable than ever imagined. This resiliency will strengthen your mettle and allow you to keep progressing despite intolerable difficulty.     
 
By turning into the storm of distress instead of trying to outrun it, you run right through it, minimizing the amount of anguish, time, and frustration you experience from your pain. 

So the next time you face difficulty, don't try to run away from the discomfort. Use is to make you tougher and more determined.

Please leave me a comment about your thoughts on using pain to make you stronger. Your opinions and perspectives are valuable, and I enjoy hearing from you. 

How lucky are you?

In honor of St. Patrick's Day, I thought I'd look at how much luck plays in our lives.

The American poet Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, " Shallow men believe in luck and circumstances. Strong men believe in cause and effect."

Why do so many people seem to catch all the breaks in life while others never seem to get the prize?

The fact is that "lucky people" see what the rest of us miss. They see opportunities right in front of them. They don't wait for life to come to them. They get out there and make things happen. These lucky people often fail, but we never realize it because they don't let failure stop them. They keep moving forward and move on to the next opportunity they create.

Lucky people also trust their gut. They don't need to have all the information. They jump in with both feet and figure it out as they go. They trust their intuition and believe things will turn out for their benefit.

According to a January 26, 2016 article in Psychology Today by Neil Farber, MD, here are the 8 Habits Of Highly Lucky People:

1. Be mindful - Be situationally aware of things happening around you so you can take advantage of opportunities that present themselves when you least expect them.

2. Be proactive - Don't wait for things to happen. Cause something to happen.

3. Be opportunistic - Take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves. Don't overthink it.

4. Be insightful - Play your hunches if they are based on your insight and knowledge.

5. Be flexible - Change is inevitable. Take advantage of it.

6. Be optimistic - Always see your life circumstances as being half-full.

7. Think outside the box - Always look for different ways to accomplish a task. Business as usual doesn't make you lucky.

8. Be resilient - Never quit. Always find new ways to do things.  

Luck isn't random. As my Nana used to say, "Terry, always remember, you make your luck, and nobody is going to make it for you. Make sure you put yourself in situations where good things can happen." Nana was a brilliant woman, and I was lucky to have her in my life.