Eleven Things Smart People Don’t Say
 
 Number 1: “It’s not fair.” Everyone knows that life isn’t fair. Saying it’s not fair suggests that you think life is supposed to be fair, which makes you look immature and naïve.
 
Number 2: “This is the way it’s always been.” Saying this is the way it’s always been done not only makes you sound lazy and resistant to change, but it could make your boss wonder why you haven’t tried to improve things on your own.
 
Number 3: “No problem.” When someone asks you to do something or thanks you for doing something and you tell them no problem, you’re implying that their request should have been a problem. This makes people feel as though they’ve imposed on you.
 
Number 4: “I think/This might be a silly idea/I’m going to ask a stupid question.” These overly passive phrases instantly erode your credibility. Even if you follow these phrases with a great idea, they suggest you lack confidence.  
 
Number 5: “This will only take a minute.” Saying something only takes a minute undermines your skills and gives the impression that you rush through tasks.   
 
Number 6: “I’ll try.” Just like the word think, try sounds tentative and suggests lack of confidence in your ability to execute the task. Take full ownership of your capabilities.
 
Number 7: “He’s lazy/incompetent/a jerk.”  There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. There will always be rude and incompetent people in any workplace. If you don’t have the power to help them improve or fire them, then you have nothing to gain by broadcasting their ineptitude.
 
Number 8: “That’s not in my job description.” This often sarcastic phrase makes you sound as though you’re only willing to do the bare minimum to get a paycheck, which is a bad thing if you want job security.  
 
Number 9: “It’s not my fault.” It’s never a good idea to cast blame. Be accountable. If you had any role – no matter how small – in whatever went wrong, own it.  
 
Number 10: “I can’t.” I can’t is it’s not my fault’s twisted sister. People don’t like to hear I can’t because they think it means I won’t. Saying I can’t suggests you’re not willing to do what it takes to get the job done.
 
Number 11: “I hate this job.” The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how much they hate their job. It labels you as a negative person and brings down the morale of the group.  
  
 
From the article: 11 Things Smart People Don’t Say by Travis Bradberry – September 26, 2016 – SUCCESS Magazine

“Be selective. Learn who to KNOW and who to NO.” - John Lucas
 
Can you say no to people you don’t want to know?

Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
What do you believe will take you to the next level?

If all the gold in the world were melted down into a cube, it would be about the size of an eight-room house. But all that gold - billions of dollars' worth - could not buy a friend, character, integrity, peace of mind, a clear conscience, or a sense of eternity.

From: Leadership...with a human touch - March 14, 1995

“The most important day of your life is today. This very minute is the most important of your life. You must win this minute. You must win this day.” - John Chaney
 
How will you win the day?

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” - Og Mandino
 
How would your life change if you treated everyone you met as if they would be dead by midnight?

"What is largely missing in American life today is a sense of context, of saying or doing anything that is intended or even expected to live beyond the moment. There is no culture in the world that is so obsessed as ours with immediacy. In our journalism the trivial displaces the momentous because we tend to measure the importance of events by how recently they happened. We have become so obsessed with facts that we have lost all touch with truth."

Ted Koppel - U.S. TV Newsman
 Printed in: Leadership...with a human touch - March 14, 1995

“Why do people give up so quickly on their dreams? It’s because they are casual about life and their dreams become a casualty of their unintentional living.” - Les Brown
 
Are your dreams a casualty of your unintentional life?

“I mistrust the judgement of every man in a case in which his own wishes are concerned.” - Daniel Webster
 
Is your judgement clouded by which side you are on?

“Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right.” - Isaac Asimov
 
What is the difference between what is moral and what is right?

Children

by ​Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
 
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
 
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so, He loves also the bow that is stable. 

“The cure for crime is not the electric chair, but the high chair.” - J. Edgar Hoover
 
Is your life an example of the difference between right and wrong?
 

 According to Jason Gay's article in the May 11-12, 2019 issue of The Wall Street Journal, the secret that no one is telling the 2019 graduates is: "Nobody really knows what they're doing." No matter how much the previous generation thinks you're lazy, or spoiled, or entitled, nobody in that generation knew what they were doing either.
There is no manual that outlines how to be successful in life. No one has the keys to the magic door. There is no wizard behind the curtain with all the answers. Nobody knows. Not the richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos. Not Warren Buffett, not Oprah, not Tom Brady or Tom Hanks. Not President Trump, not Joe Biden, not Robert Muller.
As a parent, I often wondered if I was doing the right thing for our daughter. Was I sending her to the right school, should I let her go to that party, am I encouraging (i.e., pushing) her enough without stamping out her love and curiosity for a particular activity? There are thousands of books written on how to be a good parent, but none of them answer the question that keeps Mom and Dad up at night, "Am I doing the right thing for my child?"
When I was coaching high school basketball, I recall times my players weren't happy with a decision I made and would tell me it "wasn't fair." Occasionally, they were correct, but they learned a valuable lesson - life isn't fair! Sometimes, even if you do everything right, you still lose. But that doesn't make you a loser. You become a loser when you whine, complain, or blame someone else for your loss. Winners lose on the scoreboard every day. But they are winners because they learn from that loss and work harder and smarter to overcome their deficiencies. 
At the end of May, our daughter Mikela, will complete a five- year odyssey of ups and downs, of good and bad, of heartbreak and triumph and graduate from the United States Air Force Academy. This journey started with a year at the Air Force Academy Preparatory School, before being accepted to the Air Force Academy. She endured two doses of Basic Training, an injured knee that needed to be surgically repaired and cost her a basketball career she loved, and math and engineering classes, the names of which, I can't even spell.
Not bad for a kid who was diagnosed in middle school as having dyslexia, an anxiety disorder, and attention issues. Realistically, there is no way she should have made it through the rigors of a military school education. The deck was stacked against her. She wasn't sure how to do it. She most likely should have flunked out. But somehow, she figured it out. And because of her resiliency, her effort, and her warrior spirit, she will walk across that stage and into a new world where nobody knows what they are doing.
I will still worry about her. But given what she has overcome, I won't be part of the generation that doubts her or thinks she is spoiled or entitled. I will be part of the generation who is thankful for men and women like her, who don’t know the answers but have the resiliency to never quit until they find the solutions.
To all the members of the Class of 2019 who figured out how to be successful, thank you for your commitment. I don’t worry so much about the future of our country or our world, knowing that you are there to lead the way.
Congratulations and all the best from my generation to yours!