Monday Morning Motivational Message - What Does No Mean?

What does the word "no" mean to you?

No is the anti-Yes.

When I started as a SWAT Hostage Negotiator, I was concerned when a suspect said no to me. I felt in some way I had failed.

But I quickly learned that no meant to wait. In a difficult situation, saying no made the speaker feel safe and in control.

No deal was always better than a bad deal, and a "Yes" without a how attached to it was really a "No."  

When someone asks you a question where you want to respond in the negative, use a progressive "No Sequence" such as:

If you're negotiating to purchase a car and the salesperson makes you an offer that is not even close to what you are willing to pay, your first response should be, "How am I supposed to do that?" This puts the ball back in the salesperson's court to come up with a better offer.

If another offer is brought forward that you want to reject, respond, "Your offer is very generous, but it doesn't work for me."

On the third offer, your response should be, "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I just can't do that."

And finally, after the last offer, you would say, "I'm sorry, no." 

A flat no can come across as aggressive or rude and break down communication and the rapport you have built with the other person.

It's essential in any negotiation to humanize the discussion and get the person you're talking with to see you as a person. Try to make your "no" as positive as possible. Be respectful and use a neutral tone. Avoid attacking the other person.

Please let me know your thoughts on how you use no to further your negotiations. Your opinions and perspectives are valuable, and I'd appreciate hearing from you.