Monday Morning Motivational Message - Silence

How often do you use silence to improve your life?

Some people talk because they have something to say; others because they have to say something.

The oil magnate John D. Rockefeller, Sr., turned a $4,000 investment in an oil refinery into one of the largest fortunes in history. When Rockefeller died in 1937, his net worth was $900 million. Adjusted for inflation, that would be almost $15 billion in today's money. 

Rockefeller used silence to his benefit. Many times, during a meeting at the company he founded, Standard Oil, Rockefeller would lie on a couch, not saying a word. This use of silence allowed him to listen to the others express their opinions and helped him make appropriate decisions at the meeting's conclusion. This use of silence allowed Rockefeller to become, according to many scholars, the wealthiest man in history, with a net worth, adjusted for inflation, of over $630 billion! 

Continuous and fluent conversations make people feel connected and validated. However, research in the Netherlands (Koudenburg et al., 2011) found that only four seconds of silence made Americans feel anxious and insecure.

Silence is an effective communication technique. When I was a SWAT hostage negotiator, we were taught to parrot back what a person said and then go silent. Human beings tend to dislike silence, and being quiet can make the other person uncomfortable, prompting them to fill the void caused by the lack of conversation. They will start talking, and you may get more information.

According to the communications company, SpeakEasy (https://www.speakeasyinc.com/the-power-of-the-pause-making-silence-work-for-you/), here are several benefits from using silence:

1. It Breeds Confidence - Being silent leads to others seeing you as an authority figure and gives you a commanding presence. It also shows that you are comfortable with the silence and in control of the situation.

2. It Controls the Body - Silence allows you time to breathe and relax. When you're relaxed, you can focus your mind and concentrate on the matter at hand.

3. It Contributes to Awareness - When you go silent during a conversation, meeting, or presentation, it instantly makes the audience aware. It heightens their interest in what you will say next.  

4. It Adds Energy to the Message - Silence adds energy and force to what you are trying to communicate. It inserts enthusiasm to what you eventually say.

5. It Signals Time for Reflection - Silence offers the audience time to consider what was said and what should be said next. It gives them time to ensure they remain engaged.

Silence allows you to command authority, keep your audience engaged, and provides energy to the setting. Since people are uncomfortable with silence, mastering it will make you a more effective communicator and establish you as an authority figure. 

Please leave me a comment about how you use silence in your everyday communication. Your opinions and perspective are valuable, and I'd appreciate hearing from you.