Monday Morning Motivational Message - Disappointment

How prevalent is disappointment in your life?

Studies have shown that up to 70% of people report being disappointed weekly.  Fifty percent of people feel disappointed with their career choices at some point in their lives, and about 60% of people feel unhappy with their financial situations.

Disappointment is often linked to perfectionism, affecting about 30% of the population. 

​With almost three-quarters of the population experiencing disappointment every week, can anything positive emerge from this negative feeling?

Disappointment is a mixture of many emotions that can include: anger, failure, frustration, and rejection. None of these is positive. But what can we gain from the experience of these discouraging feelings? 

If you look hard enough, there is always a lesson to learn in something undesirable. We can learn about ourselves, take time to reflect, examine how we accomplished something, and even motivate ourselves to work and try harder.

While disappointment may provide an opportunity to educate ourselves, it is still a feeling that is widespread in our lives. When we experience this frustration, how do we cope with it?

In an article published by Lifeharmony Health and Wellness Coaching on July 25, 2025 (Coping with Disappointment: 5 Effective Strategies – Serenity Wellness Mental Health Counseling PLLC), here are five strategies for coping with disappointment:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings - In almost every situation, especially when something negative happens, it is recommended that we initially process our feelings.  This is suggested so that we can deal with them. When I was a SWAT negotiator, we were taught to call out the feelings of the person we were negotiating with. This takes the fear away by shedding light on what scares us. I do this even now when I'm going for a procedure or scan to examine the progression of my cancer. 

2. Reframe The Situation - As I mentioned earlier, you can learn from any situation. Reframing it allows you to identify the positive aspect that came from this situation, which initially felt like a failure. What can you take away from this setback that will motivate you to keep moving forward?

3. Manage Your Expectations - We have to be realistic when setting goals or expectations. If you are a 50-year-old man who hasn't exercised in ten years, then it would be unrealistic to set a goal of finishing a marathon that is scheduled to take place next week. If you ran that marathon at your current fitness level, you'd most likely be disappointed.  Being realistic plays a significant role in preventing disappointment.   

4. Practice Self-Compassion - I've often been told that I am harder on myself than anyone will be on me when I fail. I will criticize and blame myself for every little mistake. By acting this way, it just makes me feel worse. If you're like me, cut yourself a break. Setbacks are a part of growth. Life is not linear. There are ups and downs in every successful venture. If you did your best, acknowledge that fact.

5. Focus On What You Can Control - Again, in my perfectionist state, I think I can control everything. You may not be able to control the outcome, but you can always control how you respond to it. I've offered this suggestion on podcasts where I've been a guest. Take a piece of paper and write down all the factors involved in succeeding at a particular task. Once you have everything out on paper, go through the list and cross out everything you have no control over. Whatever is left is where you should focus your efforts.

By acknowledging your negative emotions, managing your expectations, focusing on what you can control, and being kinder to yourself, you can turn your everyday disappointments into opportunities for growth and learning.

Please leave me a comment on how you deal with your disappointments. Your opinions and perspectives are valuable, and I'd appreciate hearing from you.